2025 ended gracefully with good company and a positive outlook. The New Year’s Eve celebration was a nice fire on a cold night with people in the neighborhood. The year ended with a hug, a good omen to quell my recent complaints, and good food. It’s nice to post something positive, and a success that…

Just as this post explains, the last year has not gone the way I wanted. I’ve posted periodically about the current status of things, but the end verdict is stagnation, decay, and failure. Overall, I’ve just been ignored. I fought for answers, anyway. And I worked way too hard for way too little money. My…

It’s two days before Christmas and it’s clear I’m not going to get what I want. I’m nostalgic and simple when it comes to traditions, and very seasonal. In the Summer, I want to hike and float the river, go on road trips.. and the Fall brings walks in the crunchy leaves and photos of…

It shouldn’t matter, but it does. Thanksgiving is in a few days and I’m extremely depressed. The holidays came fast this year. Halloween flew by and Christmas is just four weeks from Thursday, so New Years is five and a half weeks away. I’ll be able to make money for two or three more weeks…

The title for this may be misleading but life is a meager mixed bag right now. I’m awake in the middle of the night which is common, though I’ve scheduled myself to work 9 to 5 for the next few days. This is where my job working as a delivery driver becomes the best therapy,…

An open letter to Corvallis coffeeshops: As of writing this, I’ve decided I’m done with coffeeshops in Corvallis. I’ve been insulted for the last time. Since I quit drinking alcohol more than a dozen years ago, I drink coffee 24/7 and I’ve been spending $150 a month or more at coffeeshops for many, many years.…

People aren’t meant to be this lonely.  I don’t have any friends or anyone who cares about me, only people who deprive me.  I can’t remember when the last time was that I got a hug.  I cry myself to sleep and wake up lonelier then I’ve ever been and things are not getting better. …

It’s the eve of Mother’s Day as I’m beginning this and I’m more than a little frustrated. Things have not been so bad recently, but it’s a mixed bag of events and time is going by way too quickly. I’ve removed the post Alienated that listed many of the places I’ve been ostracized because it…

Not doing well today. I promise positive posts in the future, but truth is truth. Today would be the day we counted as our anniversary, together more than a decade… she passed away more than three years ago, but I haven’t got a friend in the world. So many people have been nice to me…

13 years of sobriety as of today. I don’t have any friends. Nobody cares about me. I don’t have any plans to celebrate, but it is a commemorate day worth marking on the calendar. Next year will be 14. For my birthday I took myself out to breakfast, but today the only plan is more…

Nice quote – “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” Audre Lorde

There is no choice but to start this day with hope. 2024 will go down as a year of failures. After several years of pursuing justice against a tyrant of a slumlord, and following the death of my friend and partner, I ended up with a lien against the property I live on. My landlord…