2004Mar15 Monday Serendipity? What madness this world conceales behind thoughtful yearning and unfulfilled desires! Master plan? There’s chaos, only seems random…. Truth is a sentiment that cannot be broken by situation of wishful thinking. My life would be so much simpler if I didn’t have such powerful feelings for Leticia, but it’s not my feelings…

2002Nov10 The sound of a terrible and low thunder illuminates the fault lines and the chips in these massive columns. The sky they support threatens to crumble as the walls press in and I am left in the middle of the room alone. What good would it do to kneel? Or crouch down, hide my…

2002Aug30 I go blind. I go psychically blind. My sight was robbed and I struggle to get it back. That’s why I look for the chinks of silver and the glints of light. I’m searching for a vision, learning my truth. I’m looking for a reflection of myself. I do not want to take anything…

2002May13 Mt thoughts are of Leticia today. It’s been almost a year now that I’ve been thinking of her everyday. I haven’t spoken with her since Thursday – my heart aches! – and my whole day is engulfed with yearning I’ll call her this afternoon – it’s all I can think about. I just want…

2002Mar25 I have a faint memory of falling backwards into a different kind of consciousness where I could see everything all at once. Twice since I’ve walked with this sense of being, or knowing, that I am part of everything. I was in the light of Godness, my body filled with energy, and all my…

2002Feb13 Idiocy – The stupidity of my words. I see her in my mind for 8 months now… and then there’s that girl I saw writing one day. I am too rigid. Leticia is gone (or is she?) on the east coast finding happiness. How does this affect me really? Actuality – I see the…

2002Feb06 Leticia. The name holds a power over me. It’s not something out of my control, but a potency I drink in willingly. I talked to her for over an hour today. Neither one of us wanted to end the conversation. It’s as if her faith in life is a belief in me. I miss…

2002Feb03 [date corrected, was 2002Jan] So reading still annoys me. My socialization issues (aloneness in the group) cut to the core of writing and it’s meaning. If I write to myself, what’s the point. Seeing people I know doesn’t fill me anymore and I find myself wanting to spend more time with myself…. Writing myself…