skysurfer.media

Category: Leticia

  • Leticia… Post: Saturday

    Yesterday ended the way it had begun, with subtle hues of pink and blue.  The tide had come and gone, the beach made ready for another night by the fire.  There was love.  There was peace, even with some anticipation, and a new confidence that all would be well, that Leticia and I would meet…

  • Leticia… Post: Friday

    What a strange night… I felt the tears.  Sitting by the fire, I could see another, and the tide separated us.  The reflection was a constantly moving path, untreadable.  And although I was drawn around the surf, I didn't approach.  My company didn't belong in the scene, and I felt the same.  I was out…

  • Leticia… Post: Thursday

    I am overwhelmed with emotion – and the illogic of it all!  I cannot begin to express my thoughts, but I turn to words as usual…  Leticia!  I need you!  I am torn in half without you… my heart seeths in pain when I think of you with someone else, and I think you feel…

  • Wrinkled Time

    From the mouth of the cave at Moonstone, it occurred — rainbows have no end. And their tendency to appear and disappear makes hunting them almost hopeless. But, as rainbows always happen at a hundred and twenty seven degreesfrom the sun, in Winter they tend to lurk to the North. This is how the tour…

  • Voluminous

    2005Mar21 Voluminous So many words processed, I’ve transcribed forty thousand so far (another 10,000 to go). I am sick from a venomous spider, paranoid that my enemies are somehow responsible. What better solution could there be but to keep me from walking. They are still trying to push me out. My saving grace is the…

  • Motel Morning

    2005Mar03 Thursday morning with Jen in Grants Pass [motel] How could my one isolated experience with Leticia, nearly four years ago, still affect me? Still celibate six months after just seeing her in passing. I had to see her again. I thought I was going crazy. I was crazy (maybe still am). If only I…

  • February’s End

    2005Feb25 There have been so many thoughts, many lost, and with too much repetition or hesitance on my part with some. Women, love, life, art…the list goes on – I have to make a separate folder for each theme! The work I’ve set about doing is to heal myself, but the ramifications involve others. I’ve…

  • A Transient Forever

    2005Feb23 Another episode comes to an end with another journal entry transcribed. It’s amazing how pompous my speech was, how compulsive or disjointed on some days. There is so much to sort out but never a doubt that I love Leticia forever. It is too bad I fell into such doubts about being together, but…

  • Where Lightning Strikes Water

    Where Lightening Strikes Water…. February 16-17, 2005 It’s a good title for the book I have to write. I’ve finally purchased a laptop and can now begin transcribing my random journal entries. They’ll fall into topics, much about Leticia — life and love, of course. There’s so much work and I’ve only just become happy…

  • 2004Aug25

    2004Aug25 Particular feelings of guilt and shame – no one to turn to but for those who say I need help. And it is intrinsically self-destructive to act alone. I can leave behind a letter, as feeble and cowardly as it is to leave. I think I have no choice. Yes, I’m in the midst…

  • 2004Aug24

    2004Aug24 It’s made out to be the victimized are held responsible, that my personal goals are considered to be as inadequate as I feel I am. I know I have to earn respect but I’m being offered token apologies at best. Such a strange predicament. I’ve tried to tell anyone who would listen about my…

  • 2004Aug20

    2004Aug20 No one cares, or if they do they remain unwilling to do anything about it. I’m 33 with a yearning that will kill me and for a woman who does not want me. This makes me undesireable and a pain in the ass to be around. No one likes me. And so I write.…

  • 2004Aug19

    2004Aug19 Pity – Piety What contrasting connotations these words now hold…. To be so devout – homely and homeless. Passionate, driven, and useless. Priceless as a result of being invaluable. Unwanted. To be pious in this day is not sought after or admired, but to be pitiful draws people like parasites. Zealots are terrorists and…

  • 2004Aug16

    2004Aug16 4:am Don’s Donuts Two hours sleep in my car – Run out by Arcata police…. Two more hours in Manila – this time the Sheriff. Too much driving (gypsy cab call)…. Entropy. An hour and a half until the pool opens (hot tub and shower) – another hour and a half until the coffeehouse…

  • 2004Aug15

    2004Aug15 I did almost burn my writings many times, but this morning I sit to write even more. As a personal ritual I know I can’t imagine a life without words. Poetry might flatter the ears of unsuspecting listeners but no one is interested in the flow of consciousness. So far I’ve shared only little…