It’s two days before Christmas and it’s clear I’m not going to get what I want. I’m nostalgic and simple when it comes to traditions, and very seasonal. In the Summer, I want to hike and float the river, go on road trips.. and the Fall brings walks in the crunchy leaves and photos of the changing colors. In the Winter I want to ski, and for Christmas I always just want to have plans with someone and to feel included. It’s always the lights and the music that matter to me most, but I don’t decorate much at home. I like the window displays and people’s yards, always a fun time to drive around despite the cold weather. But I don’t want to be part of someone else’s family. My history is painful this time of year and I need to be treated like the man of my house, not a broken six year old. I’ve written about this time of year before. Christmas decorations vandalized, gifts stolen on a few years, insulting gifts on others, no gifts most years – and I just want to be wanted… by someone. This year, two days from Christmas, I still don’t have any plans and I’m not missed by anyone.

Recently, someone hinted that maybe my mother had passed away a couple years ago, said I guess I didn’t keep track. Nevermind year after year of correspondence asking for answers and being ignored, or the police refusing contact, even refusing a welfare check after being provided with evidence of identity theft and fraud, amidst all the stalking and harassment. My complaints are well documented on this site. If she’s dead, was her death mysterious? And why wouldn’t anyone come talk to me? There have been way too many deaths in my life convenient for those I’ve been fighting against, and my mother had been warned about the people I have ended up living with. Her being seen at Space 65 when it was a drug house is the link between the people who continue to eavesdrop on my home without regard for the law and those who keep cooking up methamphetamines in the area to make ends meet. You would think law enforcement would be interested in this, but they’ve protected this drug ring for as long as I’ve lived here, almost 20 years, even before recreational drugs were all but legalized in Oregon. They make good money on low level arrests year after year, it seems. I’m probably not the only person forced to sign something against my will, either. I had hoped I would get some answers and be able to resolve some things legally before Christmas. Instead, I’m under intense scrutiny and on constant watch while I haven’t got a friend in the world. I can’t remember the last last time I got a hug.

The week after Christmas, I’ll publish as much of this past year’s correspondence as I can and update the legal section. But this is probably all for naught. It turns out that Highland View who I have a case against failed to register as a business back in October 2024 and the owner who has the shady management company nobody’s ever heard of has let his license to do business expire. The property is owned by a Limited Property Partnership registered to a living trust at a residential address in Southern California, but not registered anywhere as a business. So, the Erdman’s who I have had the most grievances against, who are totalitarian religious extremists, and who run this place… are nowhere to be found on the paperwork. Ivan Erdman says he’s the manager, but tells some people he’s retired, then tells people he’s semi retired and his son is taking over. He says he’s been entrusted by the owners, and tells some people he is one of the owners (even though they supposedly don’t believe in money). He even tells people he IS God, literally. But legally, he has zero authority on this property except as the trash man.

Nevertheless, the Jehovah’s Witnesses have enough money and power to lie in court and get away with it, while exploiting any rift they can find in people’s families and personal business. I have no doubt they have knowingly exploited me, intentionally cheating me out of inheritance, and possibly even harboring a child. But there is no accountability. And according to what they say, they believe in whatever they can get away with, without regard for the law. They certainly also believe in an eye for an eye and I have suffered one attack on my character after another because I refuse to worship the trash man and apparently he has followers. If I say he should be arrested, the police get called on me for anything they can come up with, just because they think I deserve it… they love playing God in people’s lives. It’s been one problem after another for as long as I’ve been asking for answers and demanding accountability, and the toll it’s taken on my social life is undeniable. I don’t have any friends and I’m not quick to trust anyone. I have never known such vindictive people. They have literally cost me my job… again. They won this year.

My plan was to go to the coast this year, if I ended up alone. But this I can no longer afford. Usually, I just clean the house and hang out at home all day in case someone comes to visit. I make sure there’s food or something to offer, but nobody ever stops by. That’s what will happen again this year, but I had hoped for more. My plan was to ask someone out on a date this last week for the weekend that’s just passed. I was slow to get there, but finally in the Christmas spirit. I resisted the urge to buy a candy cane shaped pot pipe, but I did get the all black Santa hat I wanted for a monologue I’m clearly procrastinating until next year. I wore it for two days making deliveries and I kept mini candy canes in the point of the hat to hand out to customers. I made only one delivery to a beautiful woman who tipped me extra for it and that was the highlight of this season. The next day, GrubHub cancelled my schedule.

I had been urging GrubHub to do more marketing and doing what I can to combat an evil Jesus Cult who keeps trying to get me fired, and they told me to sign up for available blocks and that was all they could do… then they punished me for signing up for blocks during advertised market hours because it’s slow. I’ve essentially been laid off. I can work for tips but not hourly wages, and business has been crushed here. I appealed the decision and was told it takes 3 to 5 business days to get an answer. No answer. It’s been well over a week. It’s obvious they don’t want me working for them, anymore – I kept asking for minimum wage. Apparently, not being allowed to schedule hours is permanent. This is business as usual in Chicago restaurants when a business doesn’t want an employee. They don’t fire them. They just don’t schedule them. That avoids legal issues. So GrubHub can say I still have a job but the ability to make ends meet is gone. The deliveries they’d been giving me were the longest distances for the least amount of money, too. I am a professional with over 30 years experience in the service industry and a damn good driver, but I may as well be part of a computer algorithm. Rather than pay me, I just got deleted. Computers don’t celebrate Christmas, and neither do Jehovah’s Witnesses. I remain convinced this is the result of landlord retaliation.

So, the days of the Cash Cow may be over. I drive a very unique Jeep I keep promising to publish a page on. Its a 1976 right hand drive postal jeep with a 50’s split window windshield and the grill from an old Ford. It has Mercedes hubcaps, Toyota seats, horn on the hood, and wood doors with cowhide. It is one of a kind. Driving the Jeep delivering food has been one of the most fun jobs I’ve ever had. It’s like being in a one-float parade – all the time. People honk, wave, take pictures… twenty times a day I’d hear, ‘cool jeep, man’… it’s been good therapy, even when it’s not making good money. It’s not efficient, but I’ve made tens of thousands of dollars with this business – legitimately, unlike my landlord who sends out fake bills to steal money from people on Social Security. And it’s afforded me the flexibility to work when I want, something which is actually necessary in my life. I could make great money working for FedEx or Amazon and I’m positive I would qualify – I have passed all local, state, and federal background checks and I have a good record. I could go to work for UberEATS except that I would have to buy another car since they don’t like my Jeep, and I don’t have any money. So the days of the Cash Cow may have all but ended. The same thing already happened with DoorDash when I went against this landlord the first time over the same issue.

And how the trash man has such influence over my holidays? It’s just the product of a sociopath obsessed with keeping me from being treated with respect. But he can’t keep me from photographing flowers in the Spring any more than he could stop the lights that make this time of year so dazzling to me. And God Knows, New Year’s Resolutions will be resounding.