An open letter to Corvallis coffeeshops:

As of writing this, I’ve decided I’m done with coffeeshops in Corvallis. I’ve been insulted for the last time. Since I quit drinking alcohol more than a dozen years ago, I drink coffee 24/7 and I’ve been spending $150 a month or more at coffeeshops for many, many years. When my partner Barbara was alive, we would sometimes buy coffee for the car behind us in the drive through at Coffee Culture and she was always trying to fix me up with the baristas. At one point, they even argued about who I liked best. It was similar at Bodhi, that it seemed people looked forward to seeing me and everyone was friendly, until I wrote a friendly letter to a beautiful barista – the Bodhi thing still blows my mind, that the owner would send me harassing text messages telling me to keep away from all their restaurants and all their staff on and off premises… but refuse to identify themselves. I got a message from Foursquare after that trying to sell me a gift card without realizing they got my address from bad reviews I’d left, so I answered in kind explaining the situation. I’ve been intimidated and threatened off premises by someone I assume must be the owner, though I have still only written letters. And ironically, despite the fact that they tried to get me fired from GrubHub and threatened to call police if I ever showed up at Bodhi again, Foursquare has since sent me a few orders at all three of their locations and I’ve picked up every one without issue. It should be noted, I have continued to remain professional and they have not returned the courtesy of open communication. Instead, they have harassed me and tried to put me out of a job and I believe they have cost me a lot of money. I had stopped going to Coffee Culture after things seemed to get uncomfortable during one holiday season long before that and things were too complicated in my life to get into a personal relationship, but after the problems at Bodhi I started going to a different Coffee Culture and it was the same pattern – everyone likes me at first, then it’s like nobody really wants to serve me. I read people and I have a lot of life experience, but I also overhear things and it becomes clear that somebody keeps warning people about me, instilling fear and doubt. Then, if I stand my ground, transactions just become cordial and minimal. And this has happened at multiple coffeeshops, dispensaries, and restaurants around town. Just get him his gram, or his non-alcoholic beer, or his latte – and get him out of here. I’m really sick of it.

Now, it’s Dutch Bros and I’ve been happy with pretty consistent quality and friendly service for quite awhile. But, recently they’ve been infiltrated by the enemy and now there’s all kinds of slander to deal with. It’s not surprising I’m standing up to the Jehovah’s Witnesses and they’re doing everything in their power to keep me from having any social or financial support, but they’re opposed to having fun, listening to music, and even drinking coffee… and yet, there they are at Dutch Bros? In the last 6 months I’ve had a bunch more trouble with being stalked and harassed, ever since I decided to fight the water bill again. The property where I live is controlled by Jehovah’s Witnesses, though I own my home, and they would like it very much if I went bankrupt and was forced to sell. I’m trying to stop illegal billing that would cost them half a million over the next ten years and possibly force them to replace old pipes. They do not want me to succeed. One of their tactics is to mirror whatever you do – if I run through a stop light a little too late, then someone comes and does that to me… if I blare my music… if I’m rude to someone, or upset about something – it’s the echo game. I’m supposed to feel watched at all times and it’s like they’re the thought police trying to keep me from sinning. Apparently they have access to cameras everywhere? The stalking has been crazy the last few months. Over the Summer, on a regular trip through Dutch Bros, a barista started up a conversation about my jeep and sat in the window talking while someone else was making my drink (it is common for them to be overstaffed), and I offered her a ride but she politely declined… then, the next few times I went there a car would rush to get in line in front of me and then proceed to tie up the baristas in a conversation for as long as they could, even after getting their drink. As the line would be backed up, the next few cars would get rushed through pretty quickly. Nothing changed until recently. I would just get coffee and go. Things have been cordial but still friendly, not cold. I’m usually in work mode, anyway, and I may drive a crazy jeep but I really am very professional.

Since quitting alcohol and drinking so much coffee, I have had chronic issues with sleeping. Smoking pot is good to a point, but I’m still up in the middle of the night a lot. Last month when those late Summer nights were still so nice, I learned that Dutch Bros was open until 10 and I started walking down there some evenings for a hot chocolate. This couldn’t last since Winter is coming, anyway, but after a walk and coming off a sugar rush, sleep was better. The social problem may have started earlier, but I was not aware there was an issue with me going there until one evening when there were two beautiful women working, one I would love to date, and a third barista parked at the window visiting. There was nothing unusual or beyond small talk that night, but I remember saying out loud on my walk back along 9th, ‘I am so lucky to live in a town with so many beautiful women’, as I often think out loud. I’m faulted for having a fantasy life because Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that anything that feels good is a temptation of the devil and that a man and woman should date in public and not do much more than hold hands for a year. I believe I’m here to make my dreams come true, and although not all of them involve people who want to do more than cuddle , some do. That is not my landlord’s business. Yet, so it goes that they believe they’re protecting women from me by keeping me from getting a date, and they sure don’t want me to have friends, especially a girlfriend. I don’t know what relationship the Jehovah’s Witnesses have with Bodhi but I think this explains the social engineering at Coffee Culture and elsewhere in this town. Recent trips to Dutch Bros in the evening have had nights where none of the women will make eye contact with me but one guy will just come stare at me. I overhear things like, ‘got him on video’ and ‘he’s like a 7 year old’. I’ve already heard every bit of slander there is from the moral police, a bunch of fear mongering taken from out of context quotes and isolated situations used to villainize me. The list goes on and on, and rumors with ulterior motives only makes things worse. I’ve been accused of being every kind of sexual predator there is because I’m not opposed to sex before marriage or more casual connections. Got me on video? Doing what? Looking at a beautiful woman, or scratching my balls? It’s crazy how much video gets taken and all I ever do in public is smoke pot and make deliveries, not even really at the same time. But apparently, now the women at Dutch Bros think I’m a child. They keep assuming I want a small hot chocolate though I only ever get large, and the last time the barista asked if I wanted that ‘kid temp’… What?!? She said, you know, like luke warm. No, thank you, I like all of my drinks extra hot and I always have. I watched her steaming the milk and I asked her if ‘kid temp’ was the standard for hot chocolate. She said, yes it’s like a hundred degrees, I just had one myself and it cools off in like two minutes… she finished making my drink quickly and got me out of there.

I’m not stupid. I have over 30 years restaurant and service industry experience and I am not a child. I looked it up, too, and the Dutch Bros standard is 185 degrees. The same guy who played the staring game was there and didn’t look at me at all, as if he’d already been informed of my complaint from before. But it doesn’t matter. The best that can happen now is that I can insist on being treated with respect and I would be treated cordially and distantly. I would get more genuine connections and better service from places where I’m a stranger. It was just the other evening the barista who didn’t want to go for a ride one day walked up and gave me a hug, but it’s been a long standing rule that if I have to consider who’s working before going to a place, I just don’t go there. I could still go to Coffee Culture and a number of places I didn’t list where similar problems have been echoed, but why? Why would I keep spending up to $200 a month for pretentious niceties and backbiting rumors? I mean, I engage in small talk with my work all day for free and I have people following me around trying to deter restaurants from doing business with me. I’m not paying top dollar for coffee at a place where I have to keep my guard up and employees would rather I not be there. I’ve heard the hush of the elephant in the room time and time again when I show up at coffeeshops, dispensaries, and many restaurants in this town. I wonder if the people of Corvallis know how pretentious they are? – especially the holier-than-thou group. In other places and even in other parts of Oregon there are bikini baristas, strip clubs, and so on. It’s not abnormal or immoral for a man to look at a woman or to want a lover. Giving someone a compliment isn’t an unwanted sexual advance and I continue to act like a gentleman. I have done nothing to deserve the kind of bullshit I’ve put up with in this town, but I do have enemies and I have been targeted. I’m succeeding, anyway, with or without social support. So, Corvallis coffeeshops, you have all lost my business now. You will still see me working and I will still buy coffee out of town, but I’ve had it with the way I get treated where I have lived for almost two decades and I’m not going to keep paying for it. Respect is not an honor that gets dished out by someone who has it – it’s the act of treating someone like you want to see them again, and it goes both ways.

Indigo Michaud