Where Lightening Strikes Water…. February 16-17, 2005

It’s a good title for the book I have to write. I’ve finally purchased a laptop and can now begin transcribing my random journal entries. They’ll fall into topics, much about Leticia — life and love, of course. There’s so much work and I’ve only just become happy about not burning it all. Inside those volumes are concealed some heavy truths (truth – another recurring topic) that may serve to heal, or explain…. might even threaten some current foundation, mine and others. This piece is the first to be written now that I’m digital. There’s a pile of chaotic thoughts, ready to be ordered, and a story that is inevitable to emerge.

Ah, the story…. We dream the dream. What I find I thought may be the Truth – editing is like painting in the missing puzzle pieces but the power of the presence contained in the raw material is irreplaceable. There’s a commitment to writing, that same resolve to some mental tension is binding. Does one dare to re-open a thought? And how could it be avoided, but through burning the pages. And then the writing; all for naught. The passages have to be reintegrated and in doing, they become changed – a part of the current story as well as the past only more defined. And what a climax! In reality, I’ve blocked out much of the detail. And the story has yet to end. Leticia is still alive, and so am I. The Book of Unforgotten Sorrows may not exist.

I still pray each night that we may be together again. I am a fool, maybe, but still true to myself and truly lucky to be alive. I don’t have anything but time to sort out the events of the most climactic parts of my life. And so recent! I’m still feeling the aftereffects of the shock. Wake up, Indigo! It’s been seven years – more than a dozen that I knew her, nearly a decade of searching out a dream, finding love near death, and the illnesses, betrayals and predators. There are obsessions unleashed; rubies, rain, and words. And there is God. The ultimate manifestation of a manuscript in some style will no doubt carry a message that is destined to express my love.

Indigo Michaud