Post date: March 26, 2024
Intro:
I am writing this to clarify my position in a conflict that arose in the last few days, though it may be directly or indirectly related to ongoing legal cases or other personal situations. As usual, I would like to resolve this amiably and outside of the legal system, but this may become another Small Claims case. I am putting this up on my website for the convenience of formatting, and I’m sharing a link with law enforcement for the record. There are no edits except that I have changed the name of the young woman this is about to ‘A’, mostly because I don’t know how she spells it, but also because this was never meant to exploit her. I am unapologetic about what has happened, all the same. As well, I have omitted the two phone numbers associated with anonymous text messages out of respect for privacy – I don’t know whose numbers they are, but the texts were sent as a group message. Nothing else has been altered or left out. As always, I am available for contact. Communication is key. Questions or comments are welcome, but harassment is not.
The situation:
Last Friday, I wrote a love note to a woman with whom there’s been a long history of flirtation. She works as a barista in a coffee shop I’ve patronized for many, many years and I gave it to her at the end of her shift. In the last couple of years, I have also been working as a delivery driver and I frequently get orders to be picked up there. Despite many opportunities to start a personal conversation with her at the coffee shop, either she has been working or I’m on the job and I am very strict about keeping my personal life separate from my work. The way I approach relationships in public establishments began in Chicago where I was part of the corporate restaurant world, and where there was a lot of ‘office romance’. The rule is simple – on the clock, one is expected to be friendly but professional; and more personal interactions should be reserved for outside of work and at home. I have even had jobs working with lovers, without issue because I have remained professional. As a personal rule, I will not even ask a woman out on a date when she’s working because, having much experience with this myself, I am well aware that people in the service industry flirt for tips and are expected to be friendly with everyone, even if they’re not really interested. It creates an uncomfortable situation when someone puts a server on the spot and takes a chance at rejection because it’s a server’s job to be nice. However, it is not inappropriate to express interest in someone and to make oneself available. In terms of office romance, that would be something like ‘Hey, I’m going to O’Mally’s for a beer after work. Maybe I’ll see you there.’ – or even offering my phone number, saying ‘Give me a call if you want to do something this weekend’. It seems like a fine line, but there’s a big difference to asking someone for their personal phone number or directly asking them for a date. An employee is not supposed to reject paying customers, is why. So, you won’t ever find me saying anything like, ‘Damn, you’re so sexy… wanna go get naked with me in a hot tub after work?’ Even if I’m thinking it. And it’s even more important to respect the line between professional and personal when you actually work with the person, especially if you’re the boss.
So, I wrote her a note. And this is what it said:
You are so beautiful, time stands still when I look at you. It's been my New Year's Resolution for two years just to tell you how beautiful I think you are. Then, every time I see you, words are not enough to express my feelings for you. I am much older, and that comes with as many unresolved issues as it does experience. There are health concerns. The aging process started early for me and I think I don't have too many more years left. I'm overwhelmed by financial problems, too. And, I live in a place that's like being on house arrest with serious violations of privacy while I fight legally against an evil landlord. I can't imagine why anyone would want to be with me, and despite my isolation I don't think it's fair to bring anyone into the situation in my life. Otherwise, I would have asked you out a long time ago. When I see you, I feel like I could live forever. You have the most amazing affect on me - you are so beautiful! You take me beyond words. I haven't had a lover in two years, and I don't feel qualified for a long term relationship but I crave intimacy on a level that's much deeper than something casual. I think about you every day as I keep planning to tell you how I feel, and I would love to wake up with you in my arms. There will never be enough time in a coffee shop for me to tell you, nor to show you, how much I want you. I think the connection I feel with you is mutual, and if you would like to explore that with me I would be blessed. I'll understand if you're not interested, but you can feel free to call me, or text, any time of the day or night. I think you could have any man you want, and all I can promise is that getting together with me could change your world. But I would consider myself lucky and honored if you were mine. Indigo (541) 286 8551
But the reply that I got was not from her. These are the massages that followed:
Indigo, this is the owner of Bodhi Cafe on 2nd street.
I need to ask you to not come into our business.
The letter you wrote and gave to one of our female staff members has made her and others very uncomfortable.
It was not well advised. My staff are young college students and the letter was very inappropriate.
I have also notified Grubhub that you are not permitted to pick up orders from our business.
I hope that this simple text resolves this issue and there is no further incidents or need to involve law enforcement.
So to be clear, we are asking you to not come into our business and please do not make any efforts to contact staff members.
Thank You.
My response:
In my defense, the note I wrote was personal and none of your business – I would never ask an employee for a date on the job, but offered to get together outside of work and without interrupting your business. I am a customer service and restaurant professional with 30 years experience and never any complaints about sexual harassment until this last year, and the source of that is an ongoing legal issue. The note I wrote was well received, anyway, not unwanted. I think ‘A’ is perfectly mature enough to reject me herself if she’s not interested and you are out of line interfering in the personal lives of your employees. On a different occasion, one of your workers offered me a “61” and the flirtation between ‘A’ and myself has certainly been noticed by Mike and his wife. This never had anything to do with GrubHub – never – but you have lost my business, regardless. I am satisfied knowing that I have expressed myself (finally) and that she could contact me if she wanted to… that you would contact my employer and ban me from your business with the insinuation that you would call the police if I show up – for writing a love note? To a sexy barista in a coffee shop? – that is far more inappropriate. No worries, all the same, I will respect your wishes and won’t spend a dime more there. I will also never feel that I need the permission of a woman’s employer to engage in a personal relationship. That is all that was offered, nothing graphically sexual or inappropriate. I suspect GrubHub will simply not send me Bodhi orders and that’s fine. I don’t see any account violations on my end, and there have never been any. However, if this becomes part of the case I have against DoorDash for wrongful termination, or if I have problems with my current employment, then this will be my official statement and I will appeal. I kept a copy of the note I wrote, as well. And contacting me anonymously at home, whether you’re the owner or not, is unwelcome.
I did not receive another reply. The next day, however, I was given another order to pick up at Bodhi on 2nd. Perhaps I should have gone there to resolve any conflict, but instead I messaged the owner:
And now I’m getting a GrubHub order for Bodhi on 2nd? I’m not going to cancel it and suffer the negative mark.
This is the reply I got:
That’s called trespassing. You have been asked to not come to our business. Violation that request is trespassing.
And my answer:
GrubHub sent me this order and I get penalized if I reject it – you need to cancel the order on your end and settle things with gubhub – I don’t deserve to be treated this way – I have always been professional on the job.
At this point I called GrubHub and explained the situation. The order was cancelled and I did not receive a penalty for rejecting it, but I don’t know if the owner contacted GrubHub or not. I think, this may not even be the owner who messaged me to begin with…
I just got off the phone with GrubHub and this order has been cancelled. However, the impact of your banning me has cost me money, and not just from this order. So, who am I chatting with? This situation needs to be remedied. I’m not getting orders from any of the top tier restaurants and my pay has been cut in half. I have been a customer at your coffee shop since I was Allan Bros. and I have never behaved unprofessionally. For the record, what’s your name?
No answer.
As you have exercised your authority in my personal and professional life without my express consent, you have a legal obligation to identify yourself.
Still no answer.
You may or may not be already involved in a legal situation that began last year, but If you have not identified yourself and remedied this particular problem by the end of today, tomorrow I will compile a report for law enforcement and I will file a lawsuit against you personally for $10k in lost wages and emotional distress in Small Claims. Seriously. You might not be aware of this, but last year somebody called me at home and 86’d me from a restaurant for giving my phone number to a waitress with her consent – and after police got involved, it turned out the guu who banned me from the restaurant didn’t even work there. I don’t deserve this kind of behind-my-back harassment and I have a right to face my accuser. Either you can be professional about this and restore my status with my job, or I will see you in Court. You have overstepped your bounds – the personal relationships of your employees is not your business, and I doubt you police the relationships of your other customers. I take this personally.
Today I have followed through and compiled the messages above. I did receive one good delivery order last night, but it remains to be seen if things have been remedied with my job. I have not attempted to research it, but I am demanding to know who sent these messages. And if it’s the owner, I’m demanding an apology. I have not gone back to that coffee shop and will respect being banned because I think a business owner should reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason, even if I disagree. However, if I get another order that has to be picked up there, I will do my job and I will expect the same level of professionalism from everyone who works there, especially if they’re the boss.
Regarding the age difference between myself and the beautiful woman, I don’t feel any need to defend my desire for her. But I think it is worth noting that there’s a portrait of Anthony Bourdain that hangs on the wall at the coffee shop. I don’t mean to name drop or compare myself to him as a writer, but I am well aware of his sexual exploits after some personal communications many years ago, and anyone who’s familiar with him knows about his prowess as a writer. Would he have been told he was not welcome at Bodhi on 2nd? Because of a piece of writing? It’s not uncommon to see older men with younger women having coffee there. This is a college town. Does the owner judge the relationships of his or her other customers? Has anyone else been told they’re not to associate with an employee on or off the premises? This is a key issue. I make deliveries for a lot of restaurants. This owner believes their authority in my life should extend to my not being allowed to say Hi to someone who works for them if I should run into them at a Farmer’s Market or anywhere else. And in defense of my age, I’m not really that old. I went grey in my early 30s and I make no attempt to hide who I am. I am in my early 50s and I don’t feel a connection with most 20-somethings, even the sexy ones, while many guys my age are covering up their grey hair and their bald spots, sucking in their gut and out diligently trying to buy drinks for college girls so they can have their way with them. The fact is, I’ve been accused of being a sexual predator – and treated like one – but I’m not. I also wonder if any of the employees there have ever dated an older man and if the boss feels the right to police their relationships outside of work. I reserve the right to associate with anyone I want in my personal life, with their consent alone.
In conclusion, and to sum up: I am demanding to know who sent me the text messages berating me, then interfering with my job, and threatening to call the police when I have only ever behaved very professionally. I stand by my offer to get together with ‘A’ and I would defend her right to associate with whoever she wants outside of work, with their consent alone. She has expressed interest in me and giving her a personal note was not inappropriate. If I don’t get deliveries for that coffee shop, that’s okay as long as this isn’t impacting my status with other restaurants. But, unless this situation is resolved with an apology from the owner, this can be considered a legal letter of intent to pursue things further in Small Claims. Anyone in a position of authority has an obligation to answer for the choices they make. Anonymous messages and meetings about my private life in which I’m not included are absolutely inappropriate. I have written this to establish the authority I have over my own private life and because I believe I’ve been faulted. Shunning me and ignoring this situation will not resolve anything.
This is to the owner of Bodhi on 2nd, staff, and the Corvallis Police who I think have already been involved. I don’t think the woman I wrote the note to was even working on the day I was told it made her uncomfortable. She has always been receptive to me, just unavailable because of work, and she didn’t reject me – her boss did. I credit her with the ability to speak for herself. The owner is obligated to identify, and I there is no need to treat me like a stalker when I have always respected personal boundaries – I am available for communication.
Please respond.
Update: April 04, 2024
Still no answer.
Last Saturday, one week after the original texts:
Did you not get a copy of the letter I sent the police? I’m not convinced you’re the owner of Bodhi, and you have not identified yourself. I’m still waiting for your answer –
https://skysurfer.media/coffee-shop/
I’ve just followed up with another letter to police that includes a paragraph on this. I’m not publishing either letter to police because of personal information contained in those letters, but the first one was forwarded to the owner of Bodhi at the email address listed on their site and I have not received a reply. I have noted that the phone numbers I got messages from are not listed as business numbers. It’s not clear who texted me. It is clear this has impacted my job. I also have some reason to believe that the owner (or one of them, if there’s more than one) may have a personal interest in the same woman. If that’s the case, and if he’s just caused problems with my job while he’s making moves on one of his own employees, that’s reprehensible. Either way, I’m demanding a written apology and to rescind the complaint to GrubHub. The interactions between myself and the beautiful barista have extended outside of work in the past, and that was never a problem with my job. I have been going there, and seeing her, since long before I worked as a delivery driver. And, if I continue to be ignored, I will push this issue legally.
— Indigo Michaud
Update: April 08, 2024
Still no answer.
Today I’m updating this page and collecting the information I need to file another Small Claims case, this time against Bodhi on 2nd. I don’t know if this case will be accepted by the court but as I explained in my first letter to police, I’m not convinced this is unrelated to the unfair termination case I intend to file against DoorDash. This has nothing to do with personal relationships in my life, only that the owner appears to have banned me from his coffee shops. told me I’m not allowed to have contact with anyone who works there – and complained to my employer, when none of this ever had anything to do with my job – all because I wrote a love note to someone who works there and she’s younger than me. This is age discrimination. Even if this is an isolated situation, this kind of policing of my private life has got to stop. It is worth fighting this, to reset the precedent.
Regarding BenchWarmers where I had gone since it was Ruby Tuesday’s, I make deliveries there again regularly, but they lost my business for life. Something similar may happen here without a letter of apology from the owner, or whoever messaged me at home, since what I’m pursuing is the restoration of my job – this is clearly stated in my last email to Bodhi, which I’m including here in text and PDF. I’m including the original email here, as well, but without the private phone numbers.
This may be related to the case I have against DoorDash if the same people are involved. I was falsely accused of sexual harassment and had my account deactivated without notice on July 2nd of last year. DoorDash also refuses to communicate, but they will have to bear the burden of proof – and I’m not guilty of harassing anyone, sexually or otherwise. I have been working with GrubHub since then and they have not been swayed by such social engineering. The situation with DoorDash may be related to ongoing legal issues with my landlord, which is well documented on this site, and at the time there was an open case with the police about credit card fraud on their provided debit card. I’m including this paragraph to emphasize that the more recent problem with Bodhi and GrubHub should be kept separate from any other legal action.
This page will be update as things progress.
Original email to police, private numbers redacted: March 26, 2024
I am writing to inform you of a situation that you may already be aware of. It should be a matter of record that someone once called me at home and told me I was never to come back to BenchWarmers because I’d given my phone number to a waitress… then he started threatening me and police got involved, but you guys told me I had to respect his wishes, then the owner got involved and it turned out the guy was not actually the manager, didn’t even work there. Now, something similar has happened, though I think it really may be the owner of Bodhi on 2nd who has messaged me. I don’t know. The complete transcript, with explanation, is now on my website. I am sending your department a link because this may be related to other ongoing legal issues with my landlord, DoorDash, and possibly even BenchWarmers. The messages I received appeared to have come from two phone numbers and I have not looked them up, nor have I tried to research who the owner is – I will take that route if I cannot resolve this through correspondence. So, I don’t expect a reply to this email unless you are able to offer me some pertinent information, but you should be aware of the situation at hand. I have been asked not to go to Bhodi on 2nd, or on 1st, and told I’m not allowed to have contact with any of the employees, even outside of work. But the ‘owner’ won’t identify with me who he or she is. Yesterday, I got another order to make a delivery through GrubHub and I got the threat of trespassing if I were to pick it up. You should be advised, as of this writing I have informed the person who has been texting me that I will not turn down another order if I should get one – that is clearly stated in the compilation of messages I published this morning. I hope this situation will be resolved quickly and easily without the need for law enforcement or court cases. Please let me know if there are any resources that may be useful. Today, I am going back out to make deliveries and because this is Spring Break, it will be next month before I know if this has had a significant financial impact. Nevertheless, driving by Bodhi or visiting Troubadour across the street is part of my regular routine and I see no reason to quit my job or stop playing guitar just because somebody doesn’t like me.
The messages I received came from:
REDACTED and
REDACTED
And the whole transcript is at:
https://skysurfer.media/coffee-shop
I have just looked up the Bodhi website for an email address and I am including a copy of this to the address listed. I don’t know if it was Cody who banned me from Bodhi, but I notice the phone number is not the same:
Phone: 541-286-4734
Cody@bodhibakery.com OWNER
As always, have a nice day –
Indigo Michaud
(541) 286 8551
Final email to Bodhi, letter of intent: April 04, 2024:
This situation has not been settled. I do not expect a reply from the police, unless there is a legal reason to respond, but I do expect a reply from the owner of Bodhi who this email is to. In fact, I’m demanding a written apology that I can use in court – something to the effect of, ‘my mistake, everything is settled now’… or, ‘the person who texted you is -‘ This is not a joke. I am preparing to go to court against DoorDash and someone claiming to be the owner of Bodhi has now caused problems with GrubHub. Giving one of your baristas a love note never had anything to do with my job, or hers. If you are responsible for contacting my employer and involving yourself with my personal life, be prepared to put your name on it. I do not believe you have any legal ground to discriminate against me – and this is age discrimination. You should consider this a legal letter of intent. If you fail to respond to this, you can expect the next documents to be mailed first class alongside a certified copy. I will update my website with this letter on Monday so you have time to get things straightened out, though there has already been ample time. Ignoring this will result in a lawsuit against you.
Indigo Michaud
https://skysurfer.media/coffee-shop
Update, followup email to police: April 15, 2024
Good morning,
I’m writing because I have not heard back from anyone at all regarding the situation at Bodhi. Two weeks ago I received text messages at home telling me that I was banned from both coffee shops and that I was not to have contact with anyone who works there, even outside of work. My age was cited as the reason, and that they didn’t approve of the note I wrote. I have contacted you and Bodhi about this because the numbers I got the text messages from don’t match the number Bodhi lists online and the person refuses to identify themselves. However, the few times I’ve driven by that place now seem to be accompanied by calls out to the police – I hear this on the LEC, which I often listen to while I’m out working, like someone has called out a four alarm fire just because I was seen. I have not even visited the guitar shop across the street because I really didn’t want them to become involved in this behind-my-back style of social engineering, but I still plan to go there. The fact is, I did not break the law in any way. I don’t believe I acted unethically, either. But, trespassing me based on age IS illegal, and that’s what appears to have happened. I no longer see orders going to Bodhi, so apparently they aren’t using GrubHub since I threatened to sue… but they haven’t responded to me. I’m owed some answers. And police should not aid people who stalk me and harass me. Due process, please. I am insisting on an answer to this email.
Have I actually been trespassed from Bodhi, yes or no?
If so, who trespassed me? Same person who texted me?
Is this related to the situation with DoorDash, BenchWarmers, or ?
Ignoring this problem will not make it go away. I’ve been a resident and was a customer since before Bodhi existed and I won’t be intimidated about driving down the street, which is also part of my job. I have respected the wishes of this anonymous person while this gets sorted out, and I should be given credit for pursuing open communication. Refusing to communicate is also illegal – and unethical. A situation like this is not like an argument that can be forgotten. It’s a situation that will fester. Old problems are harder to deal with and they never just disappear. Whether this is related to other issues or not, it needs to be dealt with.The amount this has cost me financially is fairly small, about $50 a week, and it may not be worth suing unless there’s no other way to solve this problem. As with every situation, I insist on communication – and that is why I’m being denied, I’m sure. But, it is legally significant if it’s at all related to other unresolved issues.
I’m not sending a copy of this to Bodhi since it only reiterates what I’ve already emailed, but I am insisting on a reply and you can feel free to share this with whoever you see fit. I am updating my website and I’m linking the anonymous numbers so they’re officially informed. Even if this doesn’t go to court, the legal situation in my life demands an answer to this in writing. Please.
I deserve some credit for being such a reasonable person and the lack of communication only benefits the fear mongers. Since Bodhi has refused to communicate with me, I think it’s the duty of law enforcement to inform me about what’s going on. Instead, I’m being treated like a sexual predator – even harassed around town about this. Tired of it. And as far as I can tell, police are making the problem worse. Remember, this is about my giving someone a note at the end of the day, not part of her job or mine. The four alarm fire drills that have been going on for over a decade have got to stop. I can think of no valid reason to ignore me. This is about my personal life by all Gog-given rights. So, the puppeteers have got to come down off their pedestals and have a discussion, or back off. Discussions about who I should be allowed to be with, or where I should be allowed to go, are inappropriate if I’m not included. Please respond.
Indigo
skysurfer.media/coffee-shop
Next day:
I still haven’t received a reply, and if it’s one of those things where ‘contact’ was offered by a patrol car nearby in a parking lot, that’s not sufficient. In writing, please. I have a legal right to this information.
Have I been trespassed from Bodhi, yes or no? What’s the story there?
Also, what’s with the child who’s been trained to be terrified of me? What’s the story there?
And the death of my father? Inheritance, identity theft, fraud… my family? What’s the story there?
I have exhausted my resources talking to people – nobody includes me in discussions about my private life, apparently. It’s obvious that I get condemned for the slightest expression of emotion, and I think it’s a matter of record that I’m still defending myself against many false accusations. There are severe violations of privacy that are still ongoing. So, this is about gathering facts. Information, please. The way I get treated is cruel and unusual, even in being ignored when I have every legal right to some answers. It’s clear there’s more to this story than just one more fear monger in a pretentious coffee shop. Please, don’t feed the power trips – this is my life and I have a right to the authority of it. This demands communication. I think I should get some credit for patience, too. Please respond.
Update: April 20, 2024
Still no answer.
Police won’t answer questions, either.
One response to “Coffee Shop”
Loser.