Not doing well today. I promise positive posts in the future, but truth is truth. Today would be the day we counted as our anniversary, together more than a decade… she passed away more than three years ago, but I haven’t got a friend in the world. So many people have been nice to me…

I go where I have a right to be and I remain professional in my job, but I have been made to feel unwelcome in way too many places, wherever I go, even in my own home. This is an incomplete list of places where I’ve been ostracized and it’s been made clear my presence…

13 years of sobriety as of today. I don’t have any friends. Nobody cares about me. I don’t have any plans to celebrate, but it is a commemorate day worth marking on the calendar. Next year will be 14. For my birthday I took myself out to breakfast, but today the only plan is more…

Time is not linear. One knows this from dealing with death and dying. But in terms of a server and live video, time becomes uprooted, almost implied instead of defined. Streams have no specific beginning, no standard size or speed, and the data doesn’t even have to be audio visual. The possibilities are endless, but…

Nice quote – “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” Audre Lorde

A brief progress report. Times are changing and much has happened here at skysurfer.media – for one, the migration to a new server is complete! I now boast almost 2Gbps unmetered egress and enough processing power to handle multiple streams and multiple viewers. Although I am the sole user, this means there should be no…

It just goes to show you don’t always get what you pay for… Ionos appeared to have a good price for the processing power on their VPS but there were hidden charges for additional features (that would be necessary), the network was more limited, and the OS a representative assured me of was not available.…

So, the time has come to change hosting providers and that will entail moving an entire operating system to a different data center in another city. This is much like moving a house, not a trivial task. I have had the same IP and server location in Fremont, CA since 2017 when I moved from…

There is no choice but to start this day with hope. 2024 will go down as a year of failures. After several years of pursuing justice against a tyrant of a slumlord, and following the death of my friend and partner, I ended up with a lien against the property I live on. My landlord…

Well, I guess Christmas is over.  I didn’t get the new car I hoped for, and I didn’t get included in anyone’s plans.  As usual, I cleaned up the house for the possibility of company, but nobody came over.  I haven’t left the house all day, just watched football and cooked.  I made a good…

Severely depressed. Like every Christmas, all I have wanted is someone to make plans with… I should be doing last minute shopping, wrapping presents, or cooking something. But there’s no one on my list and no one to call. I haven’t had any friends in a very long time. I have reached out and I…

It’s December 1st, 2024 and things have not gone my way this year. I’ve just come through one of the loneliest Thanksgivings ever and I have no plans for Christmas or New Years. I’m beginning this month a thousand Dollars behind my goals, not a month ahead on my bills like usual, and business has…

One thing is for sure.  I don’t matter to anyone except those who have a vested interest in my failure.  Nobody cares about me.  Nobody knows me or misses me.  I have family from both sides who live in this town, old relationships and tons of people I’ve done business with… there are people from…