2002Dec~~ (Poem)
[all entries undated, end of book starting 2002Mar19]

Do you defend me
When I am not there
And do you guard me
When you are not also asleep
Am I watched and considered in love
Or do you not value me most,
Though second to yourself
My aching heart needs to know so I can rest.

Will you hold me
As I am sick –
And heal me
So that I may hold you, when I am strong
Will you let me
Stay lost in your eyes
And touch and move with me
Will you be there when I cry

Even to wait a thousand years seems to be a day when I am with you at last my life is new (though I am tired)

So much uncertainty in life at this time …Suzette, Robert, even people I don’t know have such consequences in my life. I am not at all worried about having a place to stay… I just wonder where it is. And will I be with Suzette? All else pales in comparison.

Nodes branched spirals
Like a moire of intersected curves —
Some sharp, some gentle

[note to myself in ball-point]

In Search of a Place Where There Is No Death
A novel
A world of the afflicted
Cold blooded killing
Psychopathic behaviour
Assassination
Main Character(s) trying to “get out”
Impending doom?
(literal, symbolic, psychosomatic)
Moral assassins

Research serial killers and money gurus