2002Aug30

I go blind. I go psychically blind. My sight was robbed and I struggle to get it back. That’s why I look for the chinks of silver and the glints of light. I’m searching for a vision, learning my truth. I’m looking for a reflection of myself. I do not want to take anything from you, I just want to see you.
¡Eleguá!
¡Eleguá!
I saw you without your cane yesterday! Eternal child. Bless the mother for the eternal mercy of the spirit in this journey through the world and the distant protectors for their bows.

[Gayatri mantra]

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Oh, Leticia!
Is this goodbye? Sad Spanish songs play on the stereo. A saxophone cries of unrequited love. The irony to this is that the music is Hikah’s. Was this all an illusion, now a secret fantasy exposed? Was this feeling just wishful thinking? I saw a reflection of light in you and sank all my desire for love into the vision. Now I see that a love forever is spiritual, that love is light ever illuminating and intangible. How rare is it that pure spirit manifests! I didn’t want to let go. But like water, light slips through one’s fingers falling deeper into shadows. Una vida intensa. Musica de los sombras. You were like a sound carried on the wind, like watching a memory in the making. And there was a certain sense of perfection as every moment I was listening to a song I knew would end. I will always miss you.