One thing is for sure. I don’t matter to anyone except those who have a vested interest in my failure. Nobody cares about me. Nobody knows me or misses me. I have family from both sides who live in this town, old relationships and tons of people I’ve done business with… there are people from all different parts of my past here, but nobody talks to me. They deprive me of news that I might benefit from or need to know, even refusing to tell me about my own father’s death. There’s ample evidence of identity theft and fraud, but law enforcement refuses to do anything about it. I’ve been framed for crimes I didn’t commit, slandered in one study or another, and subject to regular psychological abuse. People go out of their way to keep me from celebrating the holidays or sharing time with anyone, especially if it’s romantic or sexual. They won’t even let me have friends… I’m regularly followed, eavesdropped on, and someone or other runs interference in every possible personal relationship I encounter. It’s Pavlovian condition response training, with iterations of vomit, shit, anything negative or disgusting associated with anyone sexy or otherwise attractive. I’ve heard every fear the fear monger’s can conjure blamed on me and I’ve even been shot at. My best friend in the world died in the midst of my coming to terms with the fact that my father was gone and they barely allowed anyone to hug me, harassing me with bloody rags and guilt trips instead. I didn’t do anything to deserve this. I really didn’t. Now Thanksgiving is next week and it’s clear there isn’t anyone thankful for me again this year. I put many years of effort into changing this, fighting for social justice and demanding answers, but I’ve been ignored. I’m distraught. I’ve been thrown away and nobody cares. I know what I stand for, but I don’t matter…
skysurfer.media
