2002Mar03
[dated 3/3 – 3/4]

I have an eye; I know that. What I want is the ability to show what’s in my mind’s eye. I do not have a very visual mind. It is more conceptual. I want to communicate the feeling that a building can have, for instance, pushing you away with it’s bricks; or the emptiness of a hallway; or being squeezed by an alley.

I have displayed a reckless side, but there is a part of me that is very, very cautious.

To own oneself; to do what one believes in; to be present, effective, successful, and aware is to be complete. I cannot believe in something I do not trust. I do not trust our government (I have met the people who make it work). I am not a nationalist because I am a humanist.
Spores are the only thing that can permeate the atmosphere. They come and go in space (or from space) and only manifest in the right environment. Mushrooms – especially psilocybin – are one of the forces guiding evolution. As humans, we must adapt to a changing universe. In order to find peace among ourselves, we must recognize our almost imperceptible part in the grand scheme of things. My first time doing mushrooms (a significant amount) was the trigger of my awakening, a massive realization of self. Psilocybin is not a hallucinogen in the sense that it creates delusions or non-real feeling like LSD, but rather, it enhances all senses allowing one to see imperceptible things more clearly. One cannot know what it means to be sensitive – even sentient! – until one has removed (pierced) the veil of illusion. Mushrooms are a means to this end. A word of caution: Recreational use of psilocybes could cause insanity in the unexperienced and should be approached with spiritual growth as the intent.