2002Jan06
6am coffee. A great nights sleep. Freezing cold outside, but no rain. I left Virginia on Jan. first, around noon. I arrived here on the third. All signs say I should go west today. I’m running out of money. I’m bored. People are starting to talk to me. If I don’t leave today I could get trapped here. It amazes me how I got sucked in just because someone was interested in me. But this is not my home. I have to make it to Humboldt not just to demonstrate faith in myself, but to prove my ability to control my own life. Perhaps that is all this has been about (Ok), that I’ve got to stop being opportunistic. It only leads to self sacrifice. So what’s in California? Or for that matter, between here and there? I don’t know. I can’t know. Even the cards won’t tell me. I guess I have to accept that this is my adventure. Along the way I’m finding that this is my favorite life. We dream the dream, the natives say. It’s time for me to wake up and make it happen. Now I’m beginning to want more than a warm roof and food to eat. I want a house and a car and so much money I don’t have to concern myself with it anymore. Food is a great analogy – that if fear of gluttony brings about starvation, then food is still too high of a priority. What I want to do will take money. I want to write, to take pictures, to feed and house all in need. I believe in the golden rule, but I no longer want to be on the receiving end of do unto others as I only react to the world around me. I want to make a difference. I am a priest, an artist, and a king. So I’m going home to reclaim my kingdom. Humboldt is where I will put down a root, where there is community and I can be most useful.
9:30am Hudi is bored and I have yet to pack. The tarot tells me that I have another stop along the way, another person to meet. It appears that whether I stay to see Kat or not matters little. I’ve left her a note and I intend to hike back to I-40 unless she comes to give me a ride. I will not be staying. Oklahoma is Ok, but my journey must continue. Let the adventure again begin! My kingdom is before me. How I will reclaim it is a mystery. What I am to do will be revealed to me (the Empress).